As a mental health coach and therapist, it is truly wonderful to see people begin enjoying a Desirable Life! As my clients gain more understanding around the concept of desire, I imagine there is a forward thrust to embrace life with much more intentionality as they begin looking for good experiences to occur. When we look for good experiences, our radar will naturally point them out and we will begin orienting ourselves towards the expectation of having a good experience.
We all go through experiences that are unappetizing. When this occurs, reach into your toolbox and pull out an applicable skill that you can practice using. You can come away from an unpalatable experience with an education on how to better use your skills to navigate challenges with poise and dignity.
Remember, when you are communicating, you are not only doing so with those around you – you are also hearing yourself.
Below is a list of words that I have found to be extremely helpful for connecting with people in conversation and text. You are ready this information because I have noticed that you have a keen interest in developing your mind and are curious about finding better ways of living. While understanding this, I believe you will be interested to see how peppering these words into your communication can generate a stronger sense of connection with yourself and others:
Easily
Naturally
Automatically
Curious
Remember
Glad
Absolutely
Interesting
Expand, Expanding
Begin, Beginning
Imagine, Imagining
Create, Creating
Wonder, Wonderful
Believe, Believing
Aware, Awareness
Observe, Observed, Observing
Realize, Realized, Realizing
Recognize, Recognized, Recognizing
Experience, Experienced, Experiencing
Notice, Noticed, Noticing
Beyond
Before
After
Now
This list is not to be read to motivate you into thinking about how many of these words you can pack into a sentence! Just be mindful when you are speaking, mindful of how you can use these words as a substitute for other words or phrases. I believe you will easily incorporate them into your vocabulary:)
The other item that I to share with you is what to say instead of “I’m Sorry.” This is a whole other topic that I can expand on, but “I’m Sorry” is a disease in our culture that is self-deprecating and reflexive. The objective is to be more intentional with when you realize that you could have done something better. If you reflexively say “I’m sorry”, it does more to resonate with your own disparaging self-perception than it does to actually convey an apology to someone else.
Below, I’m providing you with some ideas for acknowledging a mistake and giving your intention going forward:
-
-
- “I apologize. I will do better.”
- “Oh! I’m glad you noticed! I’ll try to be more aware!”
- “Oops, you’ll have to forgive me. I didn’t realize that would happen.”
- “Oooo, thanks for reminding me! I’ll remember to do that from now on.”
- “Oh, my bad, I didn’t realize…!”
- “Wow! I didn’t imagine that would happen…I’ll do better next time!”
-
These are just some off the top of my head! Use your own creative ability and imagination to come up with more relevant ones that fit the context of your situation better.
In no way do I want you to think I’m sharing this information to be corrective! When I assess someone, I do not focus on whats “wrong” with them, but I focus on what their potential is and how to develop that into moving closer to the person they desire becoming. I want to offer you the same courtesy I offer all my clients: very blunt and forward advice for living an enriched life. Please let me know if you need me to dial it back. I say that with a chuckle, but really, I know I can get pretty intense. Just let me know if I’m pushing or pulling too much.
Keep practicing…
Every day, in every way, we are getting better and better when we continue practicing!
Ken